my spanish is no bueno!

Okay, so yesterday I spent about two hours at the airport in Oklahoma City because my flight was delayed. It worked out good for my ride in Dallas and it gave me time to sit and breathe and spend some time with the Lord, my Abba Father. He has been teaching me that this past month. Calling on His name, "Abba Father," I have never felt so protected and covered by His love! He has also been showing me how to release that anxiety by just breathing! I breathe in through my nose then blow out through my mouth and it has been amazing. At my last job they said breathing deeply was better than an anti-psychotic or anti-depresent. I fully believe that.
So, I woke up this morning at my friends house in Dallas at 3:30 am, I don't remember waking up that early ever! Maybe once, but not more than twice. At DFW airport I had a major, I'm not going to Ecuador panic AGAIN and I just breathed made some phone calls and then I cried. There is nothing like calling someone at 5:30 am asking for help in a panic and being totally dependent on the Lord for provision and security. The humility is deeper than anything I have ever felt. I feel Jesus' presence surrounding me and teaching me to breathe and listen.
I am sitting in Panama right now, and scared, and trying to listen and understand. But, I walked around the airport several times getting the courage to buy some bottled water from a vender, because I'm so scared to try the Spanish I do know. Of course in my nervousness I messed up a bit, but no worries, I got 2 bottled waters. But, I'm starving and I'm not sure if I should brave it again or not. I dug out my last Cliff bar and ate it.
I'm waiting in Panama City, Panama on a 5 and a half hour layover. I was going to go into Panama City, but I chickened out and plus its raining pretty hard. The jungle is pretty, I can see trees and mountains out the windows. I have learned at least 20 words in Spanish today. I should review them, write them down so they will sink in and not fall out.
I am believing that my naivety and weakness are not bad, there is no shame in it! That my lack of knowledge of international traveling is not a bad thing, now I know! My Spanish skills do not determine my level of missionary. Like if I knew 1,000 words I was a level five missionary. When we were landing in Panama City, I wanted to explode with emotions because this is what I have wanted for so long. If you wait on Him, He will surely give you your hearts desire.